6.9.06
new lapse in our life
sign on is wat i did..signals officer..bmt is over n da tough challenges r pouring in like they nv did b4..physical is wat i lack..merely pass my ippt..failing my soc..low rope plus timing..fire was wat i was told tat was lack or..more of "三分钟热度" was used to describe me..support n confidence boost was wat i feel im lacking of..but work n growing up to be independance was told to me..cant be there for me was told..equally stressed was da reason..y at da same time..? i jus hate it..y must i sign on nw..? was it really fate..? really a test...? time will tell...
insecure..imagination running wild..is wat im feeling nw..faith i do haf..but i jus cant help to feel tat way..loyal n faithful yes i know..but action was nw taken..perhaps i was too pampered..perhaps tings was changing way too fast..n its really fast..really practically over da nite..perhaps u didnt realise..but i do..nt to meet up every wkend was told to us..but i cant..nt mtg on wkdays is really a killer to me at least..bt i guess..study really comes first n my feelings was nt as impt as ever..voice i hardly hear..words i hardly seen..close i was nt..jus fren im feeling..outcasted i am..lost in my own world..
i do nt wish to feel tis way..i do nt wish to fail..i do nt wish to let go..alone i cant attain..but who else...? only u can help..yet i feel so alone..struggling..as u do nt feel da same way as i do..cheated b4 i did experience..perhaps tat was y im feeling so insecure..promises i was given..but broken it came back..history i do nt wish to repeat..afraid yes i am..no1 to approach to..nt understandable i was told n blame by others..told was i am creating problems for myself to grief on...
i hate myself for being such a coward..such a insecurable idiot..for nt leaning on da trust we've built..trapped i am..who knows all these but me...? =~(
Posted by dotsux at 9/06/2006 01:20:00 am